SA Movie a Hit at the Box Office

As many of you know, Hollywood has finally produced a big SA movie. It's a box office leader and rated #35 on IMDB's list of best movies ever. I, for one, found it to be a thoroughly accurate depiction of the sound and the fury that is SA. If you haven't already, go see Inglorious Basterds!

-KY

2010 Presidential Forecast

At this point, our SA-Doppler radar is calling for Ruzic with a chance of Felitto next year, but with a Brown-Fallon front coming in from the midwest and the southeast. Students are advised to travel with an umbrella at all times, though I don't know why.

-KY

Kyrios Posting Service a Tremendous Success (Again)

For the second year in a row, all candidates who hired former Elections Commission Chairman and crack posting mercenary Alex Kyrios won their elections except for one. Last year, both Hopkins-Pilchen and Rosen-Nuñez took advantage of his services; obviously, both could not have won. Our condolences to Carlos Quintela, who really deserved to win. Unfortunately, we don't remember exactly how many clients Kyrios had last year, but that's an 88% win percentage this year. Congratulations to Senators and Senators-elect Gillingham, Matini, Jorquera, Manning, Felitto, Olszewski, as well as President-elect Tsidulko, on their wins!

-KY

NDH Predicts It First

Ruzic as SA President next year.

-KY

Explanation for Interruption in Coverage

Friends,

Shortly after my last post, Erik Houser found me and assaulted me. I am currently in the hospital and I -- nah. I just fell asleep around noon and just woke up. It looks like I never did get to either endorse or vote for SA President and Vice President. Just as well! I hated most of the ideas both of the tickets had. It's a good thing I'm a senior and won't be around long enough to see how badly the eventual winner destroys the school. As for the rest of you... save yourselves!

-KY

Erik Houser - a big ol' fraud

As obnoxious as the top ticket race has been, no candidate has grated the nerves of us here at NDH than one Erik Houser, who's making another run for a senate seat in the Class of 2010. You've seen his flyers: he's the one striking silly poses above trite quotations about living life to the fullest or racing or some shit. He has also claimed a campaign keyword, much like Barack Obama's "hope" and "change" -- it's "apathy." Apathy? Say, readers, why would an apathetic person run for office? (Twice?) We would also like to know how any government-public policy major (according to facebook) would ever be apathetic towards even mock government.

We'll give the devil his due; Houser's facebook group is damn funny. It's also a smart sendup of the empty promises and ritualistic gestures of your standard SA campaign. NDH tips its hat to the humor. Problem is, there is every indication that Houser will shed this shtick like... like... oh, I'm out of metaphors at the moment. Please supply your own.

If we thought for a moment that Houser would continue to play the jester in office (and regrettably, we do fully expect him to win in this small race), he would probably earn our endorsement. If you have any doubt as to his true intentions, look at his own group. The other four candidates in that race -- friendly, upstanding gentlemen all -- created a communal group for their four candidacies. At the prospect of being left out of the club, Houser collapses into hysterics. He betrays himself by including his shrill response that Mssrs. Dunleavey, Gillingham, Nelson, and Newman so generously removed.

In conversation, I've been referring to Houser as a Trojan horse. Unfortunately, the Trojan Horse worked.

-KY

Endorsements

It's time for the long-anticipated NDH endorsements for all competitive SA races! No candidates sat down with NDH, but that's fine, because we know damn well what we want.

SA President and Vice President: Just kidding. At this time, NDH is not prepared to make an endorsement in this race. We may not make one at all. This issue will be explored in depth in subsequent posts.

2010 President: Alyssa Wallace
2010 Senate: Jim Dunleavey, Ross Gillingham, Steven Nelson, Eric Newman

2011 Senate: Ben Brown, Brittany Fallon, Juan Jorquera, Imad Matini

2012 President: Kobie Gordon
2012 VPA: [pending]*
2012 Treasurer: Xiaoyu Guo
2012 Secretary: no preference
2012 Senate: Stef Felitto, Tom Flaherty, Betty Jeanne Manning, Carlos Quintela

Newspaper referendum: No
Artificial turf referendum: No
Irrigation referendum: Yes
Onion referendum: No
Prayer room referendum: Yes

*Our endorsement in the 2012 VPA race hinges upon Steph Kumah's soccer preferences. We understand she is from England and will judge her on that category.

-KY